Thursday, February 18, 2010

Things we are oblivious to...

I'm wondering: Is being oblivious better or worse than being ignorant?  Oblivious sounds like a much nicer version of ignorance.  The saying should be: "Obliviousness is bliss." But that's quite difficult for those of us who are blessed with the ever-so-slight hint of a lisp.
Still, I think I'd rather be oblivious - and this is why: It gets you off the hook for missing something - ignorance places you directly on the hook and then stares you down.
Things I am oblivious to:
1. people with mean agendas - I was in complete shock when someone stole my hubcaps in college
2. the fact that a paint stirring stick actually has one side of it shaped to be used as a handle - who knew?
3. the disorganization of my refrigerator - you can put mustard in the crisper if the door is full - right?
4. the existence of the mail carrier - I could go days without checking my mail if it weren't for the little people that cohabitate with me
5. my running shorts - I wore them inside out on a walk around my neighborhood once - pockets flapping and everything - no idea.
6. criminals -   in high school, a girl (that evidently had a rap sheet - or at least her fingerprints on record at some county jail) surprised me in the library by popping up out of nowhere in my face and telling me that she was going to "smack the blankity blank snot out of me if I didn't stop giving her blankity blank dirty looks."  I had never seen that girl in my life before our lovely encounter - not once - however, I had just been fitted with contacts that weren't quite working for me and that caused me to blink quite a bit and open my eyes in odd contortions quite regularly. Must have been contorting in her direction.  Bad eyesight goes hand in hand with obliviousness - just so happens, I suffer from both.  I didn't end up getting mamed in the library - but I did start to embrace my glasses more - and eventually ditched the contacts - probably saved my life.

Silver Lining: I don't ever have to mow our lawn again - turns out I was oblivious to some small shrubbery and the lines that make your lawn look like a checkerboard golf course.  Being oblivious has its advantages.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Middle age bites...

"You're still pretty good..." said the third grader as he walked over to where the mom was washing dishes.  "Hmm... what do you mean?" asked the mom.  "You know because you are in the 40s now," he replies.  "What?" asked the mom.  "Mom, I mean you can still get me - I'm not too fast for you yet - you know, you're still really active," says the third grader with a hint of frustration.  "Oh, you mean I'm still pretty alive for being 40?"  Wow... that was a hit... thought the 40 year old mom... with a hint of frustration...
"Well, when Dad wrestles us, he just sort of tickles us.  When you wrestle us, you really try to get me - and you're better at it than Dad," explains the third grader.  Ahhh... now the mom feels kind of old... but not as old as her husband.
Oh - and the wrestling thing - the mom only wrestles kids in the snow when they put snow down the back of her coat.

Silver Lining: Good thing the mom can still see well enough to type - even though she's already 40.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Day

Describe your best Valentine's Day
Hmmm... I guess my answer to that is - any of my 39 Valentine's Days that DID'NT involve awkward dinners or gifts from dates who were just as disillusioned as I was - or anything involving the consumption of red beer out of quart size cups.
Actually, my favorite Valentines came from my Grandpa.  He would come up with a new idea each year and always hand-deliver them.  I still have one that he made from a sheet of copper.  He cut it into the shape of a heart and then engraved a face and a valentinish greeting on it and then signed it: Love RKP (his initials)
I tried to recreate this project for him and my Grandma the following year - however using a piece of scrap metal without the engraving tool - didn't produce the same results - so after incurring a small gash on my pinky - I resorted to a piece of material and a marker.  Nothing says "I Love You" like a wrinkled remnant of lavender corduroy with a bumpy message on it.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Silver Lining: The photo to the right depicts my son singing a Valentine song to me when he was in first grade - is there a better costume that depicts love?

Friday, February 12, 2010

Cub Scouts

Is it ok to want to deck a cub scout?  Just wondering.  After a near-death, fire abudanza (ok - just some wavy flames) involoving some sugared up cub scouts and the redirection of a special needs child at the Blue and Gold Banquet - I quietly decided it was time to blow out the ceremonial candles on the stage.  As I was probably saving children from a possibly harrowing experience, a more seasoned cub scout approached me and asked if I was supposed to blow those out.  Hmmm.  I don't know - how attached are you to your eyebrows? Instead, I replied quite politely with, "Yes, I'm afraid someone might get hurt."  Looking at me straight into the depth of my soul, he replies quite confidently, "You didn't do it properly."
So repeat the first question of this paragraph to yourself again and decide for yourself.

Silver Lining: The ten year old with the confidence of a mongoose lived to see another day - unscathed.

Thursday, February 11, 2010


So we are on our way to gymnastics and I am startled by, "Mom! There's a hawk!  There's another one!!"  Yeah, wow - hawks are big - good eyes kids, I say.  A few beats later, "Is it illegal to kill birds?" the third grader wonders.  Without hesitation, the kindergartener answers, "Well, Joseph, it depends on what you are, right Mom?"  Hmm?  "You know, like if you're a bear or something, it's not illegal, right, Mom?"
Yes, Maya, it's not illegal if you are a bear to kill a bird.  That's how animals survive - by eating other animals sometimes.
".... Mom? Do we have bears by gymnastics?"
Only on Wednesdays, Maya, when there's a special at the gym for bears only - you know, to get their exercise so they can kill more birds...
No wonder my kids are goofy - they have to put up with me.
Back to the painting I started well over a week ago...

Monday, February 8, 2010

Ahhh... The Tooth Fairy

With a wiggle and a twist, we are in need of a tooth fairy visit.  My eight year old is beyond excited and can't wait for the tooth fairy visit!  I'm thinking to myself: he's almost nine - he's probably just in this for the financial gain.  Nope.  Not so.  Before we can even get the bleeding stopped, he has rounded up a paper and pencil to start a special letter to the Tooth Fairy:
Dear Tooth Fairy,
Can you please leave my tooth with me.  I would like to show it to my teacher.  She hasn't seen a little tooth like this for a loooooooong time.  It's snowing out so I hope your wings don't get tangled in the snow - even though I know that you are magical and you probably have a little wing coat.  Also, can you tell me where you live?  (he left a pencil hanging by a string on the paper) Also, my sister wants to lose a tooth too - can you make hers more wiggly?  I love you,
This was all accompanied by twinkly, wide eyes and excited running from one room to another.  At about 3:45 am, I have a visitor in my room whispering to me, "Mom! The tooth fairy came!"  And he showed me where he lives! I think I can finally go to sleep now!!"
Thank goodness the Tooth Fairy remembered shortly before 3 am when she got up to make a trip to the bathroom - she also remembered to cut out a picture of a fairy-like home from a catalog and tape it to the note.  Joseph wondered this morning if there would be more clues - like a teeny tiny scissors and teeny tiny glue stick - around the kitchen this morning.
The magic still lives... at least until the next tooth.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Something Lost and Found

Today's prompt: Tell about something you lost that you were very thankful to find.
Man, I've lost so many things throughout my years... it's hard to just pick one.  My most recent scenario highlights the goodness of strangers.  A year ago, I had stopped at Sam's Club to pick up a few (large) items when all of a sudden, I noticed my purse was not in my cart.  Did I leave it in the car?  Did I even bring it along on this trip?  Did someone take it while I was perusing the 600 lb. vat of laundry detergent? Oh, no.  I must have my credit card stopped and my bank account frozen immediately.  I'm sure that some bandit has already stolen my identity, stolen my car, and has gone a wild spending spree at a pawn shop.  The blood has now drained completely from my face as I head out to my car to start the search.  I explain to the "gatekeeper" where I was going and gave her a quick description of my purse - and headed out to the parking lot.  On my way out there, I am suddenly stopped by a Sam's Club employee.  He asks me if I have lost a purse and if I can describe it.  I do and he hands it over.  I am forever indebted to this man.  Now... where did I lose it?  Turns out, I put it in the baby seat part of a cart (I'm starting to remember now... it's all coming back) but couldn't get that particular cart free from the herd - so I chose another cart.  Without my purse.  Smart.

Silver Lining: In Minnesota, you can wear a winter hat, and call it good - no shower needed.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Korean in Minnesota

So Joseph is playing 3rd grade basketball in a low pressure non-travelling league.  He's eight.  This is a relatively new concept to him - not only to dribble, pass, and shoot - but to run specific plays and play several games a week.  In the last few weeks, he has been working on guarding and staying with his "man."  This has proven to be a bit difficult for several of the kids - but especially, Joseph.  He's having a great time, and doesn't seem to be the least bit stressed at all. Which is good...right?  After a particularly hard game to watch, I have a discussion with him about guarding his guy and getting in between his guy and basket (because, you know, I played rec. BB at the YMCA when I was 11 - I know these things).  I asked him if he understood what he was supposed to do - and he answered, "Yeah, Mom.... but it's hard...  I asked him why.  In his very 8 year old voice and most earnest look on his face, he said, "Well, Mom it's hard because they all look alike."
Said the Asian about the Minnesotans.  Enough said. 

Silver Lining:  Joseph announced to me that it doesn't matter what the Groundhog sees because we are going to have 6 weeks of winter no matter what.  And then his Kindergartener sister replies, "That groundhog should just stay in his hole until he can say the truth."
Yeah, so there.