Thursday, November 19, 2009

Haircut: Take 247 - Action!

Ok - here's the deal:  I'm a low maintenance chick with an aversion to hairspray.  After my second child arrived on the scene, I decided that long hair was no longer going to work.  Once you start to cut your hair, it just becomes more and more freeing - to the point where you don't really care how short it gets - as long as it has a style.  That in mind, I was scheduled for a hair cut at a local salon yesterday.  I was called the night before to make sure I was coming, I made arrangements to change my volunteer gig at school, so that I could make this very important engagement.  Obviously, I don't get out much.
Anyway, I wait and wait.  I wait some more.  Humdee dumdee doo - no hair cut artist is coming to fetch me from the waiting area for my 1:00 appointment.  Finally a phone call is made and it is determined that the "computer" has made a mistake and that my hair stylist doesn't even come in until 2 pm - so the computer just messed it all up.  Right...
Well, I'm there and I am going to have my haircut.  Would I like another stylist I am asked?  Sure - why not - it's just hair - I've only had a couple bad haircuts in my life (one was my doing).  So apologies are made and I am set up with another stylist - let me begin by telling you - I got a great haircut - but not without some pain and agony.  Here are a few questions for my readers: (Please respond)
1. When your hair is being washed by a stylist, should your neck be slamming up and down on the sink basin? - to the point that you begin to feel a little carsick?
2. Is the cape that is snapped around your neck supposed to cut off the circulation to your head?
3. When having one's eyebrows waxed, is one's eyelid supposed to be pulled up and turned a little inside out when the wax isn't completely coming off as is should - is there hair one anyone's eyelids?
4. Finally, is it EVER appropriate to tell a brand new client that they didn't look very good coming in, but now the client looks at least 10 years younger - all because of the awesome haircut that just took place?
I had actually applied make-up, chosen an outfit, AND matched my socks to my outfit - what does she mean - "didn't look very good?!"
5. One more question, does one return to this stylist and put up with the mild torture just because the haircut rocked?
Just wondering...

Silver Lining: The puffiness and redness from my eyelids being waxed has gone away. I should have a normal blinking pattern within the next few days.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


This IS the silver lining for the day - Thank you God for giving me the presence of mind at the very last moment to realize I had soy sauce in my hand ready to pour into my cinnamon chip pumpkin muffins - instead of vanilla!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Parent/Teacher Conferences

As a teacher myself, I can truly appreciate the kind phrases we write on report cards as to not hurt the feelings of the Kindergarten parents.  My favorite about my daughter: "Maya's desire to lead causes conflict with the other leaders in our classroom at times."  Translation: Maya is large and in charge - does not back down - does not want to be told to back down.  Next one: "She is conscientious of the rules and an adept enforcer."  Translation: Knows the rules - makes sure others follow the rules - if they don't, she could bust a gasket and scream the rule in their face.  Ahhh... to be young again...

Silver Lining: My kids love school and school loves them - it's a happy relationship. They also like the vibration of the washing machine...hmmm..

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Magic Tricks

So Joseph is up at the crack of dawn this morning practicing magic tricks from a book his teacher let him borrow.  At 6 am, this is what I hear in my ear while I am still in bed, "Mom, come and see my magic tricks - should I start with the wet ones or the dry ones?"  Hmmm...
I would like to start with the wet ones - so we head down stairs in the dark of dawn and the show begins.  The tricks are fabulous - pouring water into a magazine wrapped around a cup, a magic coin taped to a washcloth - this one truly did fool me - and then came my favorite: The coin appearing in mid-air under a self-made paper tray.  First he says, "Mom - we have to go somewhere dark for this to work!"  I suggest maybe we just turn off the lights. "Oh - good idea, Mom!"  Next I see a coin taped to a piece of fishing line swinging from the end of a piece of paper - so I say, "Hey, Honey - I think it's not working because you are wearing a dark bathrobe and I can see the fishing line in front of it." Oh this isn't a problem.  Without another thought, Joseph drops his robe and in a flash the magician is now confidently performing the "trick" sans robe clad only in his camo undies. The g-rated wet/dry tricks have now become either a PG-13 show or a teachable moment about modesty.  No matter - the magician seems completely unaware of his clothing malfunction and is ready to continue.  After a few more tricks, Joseph tells me that this book about tricks and such is the best book he's ever read!  I agree with him: this is the best morning I've had in awhile - who knows, maybe I have the next big Vegas show blooming right here in my kitchen...

Silver Lining: the Halloween candy has officially been removed and/or eaten - on to the next holiday of chocolate!

The double meanings of so many words...

Do you go to the press with a breaking story or do you press the magic button and win a prize?
Are you up at bat when disaster strikes and you suddenly need to use the bathroom - or do you simply notice the bat flying across the movie theater screen as you are watching "Jaws"?
What about pen?  Are you scared because all of the pigs were released from their pens at the Iowa State Fair when you were only nine years old?  Or are you simply laughing because your best friend in 5th grade math class had a pen explode in their mouth while chewing the end of it?
Do you bid clubs while playing 500 or do you hit a caveman's potential food with a club?
Is my fly open or is their a fly in my soup? (The fly in the soup seemed to happen quite regularly on Sesame Street).
Finally, do you band together while walking through a haunted house or do you simply flip someone else's disc to show they are present and accounted for before band practice starts? (this was the attendance strategy in high school band in 1985.)
This is the problem with the English Language and trying to teach it to someone who is trying to learn it.  My favorite memory of my sister teaching ESL to some Hispanic students during her first teaching job in California has everything to do with exactly that.  She told of a time when she was trying to teach idioms to her non-English speaking students.  The idiom of the day was "keep your eyes peeled."  This sent at least one of her students to the bathroom to throw up - because why in the world would someone try to peel their eyes?? 
Just another random thought from your friend, Julie...

Silver Lining: 60 degrees of sunshine in November - need I say more?

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Describe on of the scars on your body...

Where do I begin?  My favorite scar story started with a little lump on my jawline.  I had to have the bump removed by a plastic surgeon.  I was teaching Kindergarten at the time, so I knew the stitches would not go unnoticed.  When I returned to work, there were many questions and comments about the new contusion on my face.  However, the best part of this story is that we had started a Kindergarten Journal that week, and it just so happens that the prompt for that day was: "Draw a picture of your teacher and tell one thing about her."  So now in memory box of at least one of well-meaning mother who has kept all of her child's mementos from Kindergarten, there is now a picture of Mrs. Burns with a pirate-like scar on the side of her face and the caption: "This is my teacher. She has a zipper on her face."  Ahhh... Kindergarten...

Silver Lining:  I have respect for each and every one of the scars on my body because every one of them has a story that involves saving my life or making someone laugh.

Monday, November 2, 2009

The First 40

My husband's 40th birthday was yesterday.  No fanfare, no black balloons, no big party.  However,  I lip synced "Everything" by Michael Buble - while the kids also air-violined and danced for him for one of  his birthday presents.That little performance was ground breaking for me because he teared up a bit - now was it because we were so bad and the lack of a real party made him emotional...or was it because he was truly touched?  I am going with the latter.  After a full week and counting of flu and strep in this house... we have all been "touched" by something - that's for sure. But here's the thing:  I have always tried to find the "perfect" gift for him - it's not that he's so picky, he can't be pleased, - it's that he doesn't show a whole big bunch of emotion when he likes something - so I never know if I've gotten it right.  A tear - that was priceless.
Let's hope the next 40 years are just as happy and as filled with adventure and character as the first 40!