Monday, November 15, 2010

Ho! Ho! Hah!

Monday morning.  Eating Rice Krispies and checking out the Lego Catalog.  Joseph... that is.  Preparing a rather lengthy Christmas list.  He adds up all the Lego sets he would like with a calculator and presents me with a total of $968.41.  "That's a pretty good deal, right, Mom?"
Before I launch off into my "Value of a Dollar" speech, I simply turn to him and say, "Sure... now you only have to lose 484 more teeth."
"Well... at the going rate of $2 a tooth, that's how many times the Tooth Fairy would have to visit for you to make enough money to buy all those Legoes."
"I don't have that many teeth!!"
"Exactly.  I guess that's not that great of deal then, huh?" (Snarky Mom to the rescue!)
Then, as usual, the peanut gallery (the six year old) adds in her two cents rather flatly, "You should really hike up your prices for teeth... at your price, all you'll be able to buy is a box."
"Humph... that's not fair.  (The usual response from the nine year old.)  I wish I was an alligator... or a shark... because they have tons of teeth."
The voice of cynicism speaks again, "That's dumb... then you wouldn't even be able to play with Legoes... webbed feet? flippers?  Won't work."
He was getting more and more frustrated and finally slammed down his magazine and pen and in a frustrated voice, came up with, "Fine! I will just ask Santa!  So ha-ha on you!"
And this is where I braced myself for all of the magic of fairy plums dancing in their heads to come to a screaming halt at 7:45 am at the breakfast island, on a Monday morning, over a lousy bowl of Rice Krispies.  I was sure she was going to announce who she believes Santa really is... in a rather sarcastic, non-apologetic voice, most likely.. 
Instead, "Good idea, Joe!  I think Santa's loaded - and besides, his elfs can make anything!"
Phew!  That was a close one!  But there's one more catch I begin to realize... this Santa's not loaded.  Maybe this Santa should just go get loaded... or maybe this Santa should have just stuck with the "Value of a Dollar" speech... it ain't easy bein' me.

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