...cut my six year old daughter's hair anymore:
"Mom, I look like Darth Vader."
...fold underwear anymore:
"Mom, none of my underwear fits me - but it fits Pandy (stuffed panda bear that hides in corner by daughter's dresser - wearing about 16 pairs of little girl underwear) perfect!"
...let them pack their own lunches anymore:
"Mom! Don't look in there! We are supposed to have a surprise lunch today!" Oh... well... then I guess you will be surprised when you open this up and find that the Cliff Bar, fruit snacks, cookie, barbecue chips, go-gurt, sunflower nuts, and chocolate chips are no longer accompanying your turkey sandwich, apple, carrots, and yogurt.
...answer the phone while the six year old is bathing in the glassed in shower:
"Mom, I only covered the drain because bubble bath doesn't work so good when the water is just sprayin' everywhere..."
...buy toothpaste in a tube for my children anymore:
"MOM!! I didn't do anything, but SHE made me step on the tube to get the rest out!"
...play whiffle ball with my kids and expect that the game might be civilized:
"...you can too - right mom? You can just keep going around the bases if nobody's on 'em, right? And it doesn't matter if I want to use a tennis racket to hit with - right? And if we get hot, will you just spray us with the hose?"
The only thing that's missing is the big gong. The one that Nipsy Russel or Soupy Sales is going to hit with a big old mallet and gong me right off of the "Mom Show."