I'm bringing the kids home from school... a different way than usual. After winding roads, potholes, and random 4-way stops, I'm beginning to think there is probably a better way. Then my thinks - they are confirmed. I'm at a stoplight out in the middle of nowhere - you know the kind that are not on poles, but just swingin' in the breeze from wires? That's the kind.
Anyway, I was under the impression that the road was a simple 2-way highway with a total of two lanes. I'm waiting for the light to turn and along comes a minivan from 1987 who sidles up right along next to me - on the shoulder. No problem - right? Wrong. This van is so close to me that the driver who's got his bare, muscled arm leaning on his open window can reach out and touch my car - oh, wait a minute - he IS TOUCHING my car!
So here's the picture:
1.Mom in minivan listening to Nate the Great (audio book) with captive belted-in audience in back seats.
2.Mom looks over and sees scary man with a total of three teeth leaning out of his minivan (which he has clearly outgrown) and is now resting his Andre the Giant-sized hand on the passenger side handle of MY vehicle!
3.Light turn green, light turn green, light turn green... pleeeeeeeese!
This is clearly an invasion of my personal space. I am trying not to look directly at him - so my eyes are aching as I am calling up all the strength of my peripheral vision. All the windows in my van are open at some level, and apparently hearing skills of elementary children are impaired after 3:30 - so the audiobook is playing rather loudly, and here's what happens next - I kid you not.
Audiobook: "I, Nate the Great LOVE pancakes!"
Scaryman (while still touching my car): "Heh, heh, me too. Heh, heh."
Children: "Who's that, Mom?"
Appalled Mom: "A man who likes pancakes."
Appalled Mom: "Good-bye."
Scaryman: "Have a good day, Mith!"
Okay, so Mama overreacted a bit. Turns out that Scaryman - isn't so scary. He just happens to have a mouth full of compromised dental work... and he also likes pancakes... hmmm... are the two related?