Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I Can't Talk Right Now... I'm All Tied Up... Seriously

If you happen to be someone who needed a good laugh about an hour ago, I hope you were a motorist on a well-traveled road in my neighborhood today.  I delivered well.  My new friend, Henry the puppy/ bane of my existence, accompanied me on my walk today.  I don't always invite him - for good reason.  But given the rough start to our morning, I thought I owed him a little fun and exercise.  Before we even were out the door, I had to go on a search for my earphones - you know, the ones that used to be attached to my ipod before an unnamed child asked to borrow them for a "sound experiment" involving Tupperware, water, and a locked bathroom door. When I refused the inclusion of my earphones, they evidently went MIA.  After locating a rather stripped-down pair in the zippered seat back of the mom van, I was set for a walk with man's best friend.
We started down the cul-de-sac with spirited intentions of getting a brisk forty-five minute walk.  Just seconds into our mission, out of nowhere a speeding lawnmower came screaming down the walking path. I thought there was a special place for lawnmowers moving quickly - I mistakenly thought the name of that special place was "the lawn."  I stepped back to allow the heavy machinery to pass.  No problem.  Next up, two runners with matching, leashed, well-behaved Springer Spaniels came flouncing by.  Did I flinch or become rattled when Henry the Super Puppy proceeded to relieve himself in a rotating sprinkler fashion all over my shoes and the passing dogs?  Of course not.  I'm used to this lovely behavior.  I have learned to simply apologize and keep walking.
It wasn't until I noticed some rather threatening rain clouds racing toward us, that I decided it was time to put the walk back on the shelf (probably the "second shelf") for another day.  We turned and headed for home in a direct manner.  So direct, that I did not notice the ferocious Irish Setter in a neighboring yard bounding toward us at top speed barking like Cujo.  Henry and I both lost our composure at exactly the same time which resulted a bout of spontaneous, scared-puppy incontinence, followed up by jerky hopping that tangled four paws and two feet into a wet, leash knot that essentially caused the super puppy and its not so thrilled owner to fall sideways (fightin' it all the way down) on to the opposite side (closest to the road for better motorist viewing) of the walking path.  From my perspective on the ground, it probably looked much like a hog tying that went way wrong.
I quickly untangled the puppy from the soggy leash and my feet, scooped it up, and tried desperately to look like it was no big deal as I made a bee line to my garage.  Super Henry has since been sequestered in his crate for a few moments... for his personal safety.  I can only hope that at least one driver of the six cars that passed by during the entanglement show needed a good laugh.  You're welcome.

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