I'm a little nervous. A very large dump truck just pulled up into our cul-de-sac. It is pulling a trailer loaded with digging machines. The orange-vested men are in the process of unloading the... oh... wait they are done. There is now a 2678 CAT and some sort of hydraulic pounder machine now parked in front of my house. They are setting out orange cones and hustling about in their work boots yelling things like "Yeah, put her down! Keep a comin' yep, just a little more... HO!" Beep, beep, beep, beep. What? Now they are loading it back up and attaching it back to the dump truck. Orange vest driver #1 is now making a cell phone call. The others are watching him. All engines have stopped and lunch coolers are being set out. This can't be good.
The last time such an event took place, the Freon line to our air conditioner was snapped. Bzzt. No more cool air. Another time all water stopped flowing to our home unexpectedly, and a rather apologetic, haggard man appeared at my back door and while trying to seem authoritative, asked if I knew where my water line was.
My response: "I'm guessing it's quite near to where that big, old pile of fresh, black dirt is over there by the street- real close to that digging beast you just jumped off of - what do you think?"
Then there was the time, that a heavy equipment outfit was in our neighborhood for about six seconds when I heard the crackalackin crunch of our wooden fence. When I appeared in my backyard looking concerned and surveying the damage, I heard from behind the part of fence that was still standing, "Ooops... is she still standing there?"
Oh, and then there was the time that my husband accidentally cut our cable line while doing some brute-force landscaping. No heavy equipment that time - just a custom job, conversion van wheeled in, slammed on the brakes, and cable guy workers jumped out and slapped a "Cable TV" magnet on the passenger door. In approximately .4 nano seconds they arrived at my front door, each with a shovel and some paperwork. We exchanged a rather short passage of convoluted communication complete with random hand waving and head nodding, and then they hopped into my yard and started digging. Still not sure what they did, but the Internet was in full steam when they slung their shovels over their shoulders and zoomed off Mystery Machine style to their next destination.
Right now, we have workers eating lunch - probably plotting what random pipe, wire, or cable they are going to sever just to mess with me. I must be staring. I think one just waved at me. Ahh, yes... there's the wave. Hi. I'm definitely in for it.
More on this later. Must close wooden blinds now.