So I'm finishing up this epic of a book. It's been a fantastic read - it's just taken me awhile to get through the 900+ pages. Every so often, while reading this book, my six year old has sidled up next to me and asked me what it's about and what's happening. As happens with many epics, about three generations of "stuff" has happened - some of it thrilling and heroic... some of it violent and rather inappropriate for six year old ears to hear. But she persists, and she seems to remember every detail I had sparingly shared with her the last time we went through this routine. So I try to pick up where she left off, leave out the gory details, and give her a story that fascinates her. I put down my book, but leave it open in my lap and begin my monologue in as best of "Once upon a time" language as I can muster.
I'm rambling on about valiant battles, rebuilding of castles, and strong, confident women protagonists, while also trying to work in the significance and definition of a monastery that is at the center of the plot. I'm weaving a heck of a story when she stops me in the middle and says,"What does 'lusty' mean?" I blush for a moment and then stop and explain that it just means when someone really likes another person. Then she follows up quickly with, "What does 'bosom' mean? Is it like that money that the monkey had to pay to get someone out of jail?" No, that was ransom - and it's a monk - not a monkey. Then it occurs to me (rather late) that she has not been listening to me at all - she has been trying to read my open book!
So I closed the book quickly and said, "They all lived happily ever after. The End." She looked up at me with a frown on her face and replied, "I don't think that's the end, Mom, but if that's what you want to go with, I guess I'll go with it too. Let's go look for Waldo - that might be easier on you, Mom."
Guess I'll go whip up another batch of Humble Pie for supper.